For the record, I’m  not referring to the actual waxing of my ass…. 

<SMILE> 

It took me until 3 PM today to fulfill the left-over Friday’s 500 words to meet that day’s 1000 word quota. Now, I still have to write today’s 1000…. Listen, it’s not a piece of cake. (What is a cake walk? What’s up with all the cake? Cake is not so easy, unless it’s that ‘crazy cake’ recipe that doesn’t require eggs or dairy, therefore kosher, and can be all mixed in one bowl.) 

I totally devolved today. I frittered time on the internet, rolled about on the carpet, did twenty mini crunches, listened to Rough Trade, ate a Raisinwich cookie (my Favourite!!!), disrupted my daughter who is studying for final exams, was delighted when my girlfriend phoned, thawed peasant soup (not made out of peasants), read about sundew plants, looked up the meaning of my girlfriend’s name, realized I’m going to Winnipeg day after tomorrow–not next week, tasted junior high school from a tin of chicken noodle soup, traded pens with my daughter, wondered if I have to share the last of the two Raisinwich cookies with my daughter or just eat them myself, looked up the meaning of prorogue, checked email certainly over twenty times, and, now, blogging, as I yank out one word at a time, build one phrase, construct one sentence, as painful as yanking teeth out of me head…. 

It’s gonna be a long night, dudes. 

(Did you know they’re doing a remake of Karate Kid???? Aiiiyaahhh….) 

Some days the words just so flow, like water, like a ribbon of glossolalia. 

Not today. 

Yup. Suckin’ it up.